One measure of happiness and joy is connection with people who make us feel good about ourselves. Recently I have been focusing on mind and body balance and wondering why that person can’t be ourselves? Seeking validation from others keeps us in a comfort zone, while our inner voice, one that may tell us we are not cute/tall/thin/smart enough, keeps fear alive within us which limits us from our greatest potential.
There are ways to change the tone of that inner voice and in turn your entire self-talk belief system. You will not be able to switch your inner dialogue from a negative, anxious one to a loving, supportive one like you flip a light switch; however, you can make the change effectively with practice.
The way we choose to think and speak to ourselves is a choice. Although you may have spent your entire life talking about yourself in a negative way, that does not mean you have to continue on that path. You can become your own cheerleader!
Your inner voice may have been with you since childhood, and you may hear it in the tone of when an adult told you that you weren’t good at something, and you’ve just been unable to get that voice out of your head. The first step in silencing the inner critic is becoming aware of its presence. You may even give it its own name. If you choose something silly or non-threatening like Mean Manny or Picky Peggy, another way to stand up to that negative inner critic is by making fun of it. Once you start confronting it, you are well on your way to improving your inner dialogue and self-esteem.
Another tool you can use is to get those negative thoughts out of your head and onto paper. Once you have them on the page, visualize wiping your mind. Then burn the paper, reminding yourself that the negative thoughts are no longer running rampant in your brain.
If you are still having trouble talking nicely to yourself, imagine you are your 4-year-old self. What would you say to her? You would want to encourage and uplift her, right? Tell her how smart, kind, cute and funny she is. Tell her you believe in her.
Meditation, breathing exercises, spending time out in nature, and pursuing your hobbies can all help squash the negative and intrusive thoughts. Practicing mindfulness and gratitude every single day are also tools that have been proven to calm the wandering and critical mind.
In the end, participating in negative self-talk is counterproductive and unhelpful. It is important that you continually remind yourself of your worth. We are good enough exactly as we are. This realization and acceptance will allow you to embrace self-compassion and focus on the good things in your life.
Comments