I have been avoiding writing about how much Covid has impacted my life as a person with mental health issues because I felt it was obvious, and also, it was a bit too hard to face the facts. And the facts are that I have not dealt with it very well at all. As you may know if you have been following my blog, I have bipolar disorder and major depression with anxiety. To summarize for anyone unfamiliar with what that means, Bipolar disorder is a mental health condition that causes me to experience alternating periods of high and extremely low mood, energy, and activity levels. For me, the depressed phase is more common and is what I live with on a daily / chronic basis.
I finally decided to write about my experiences dealing with the COVID-19 pandemic and resulting lifestyle changes to help myself work through the necessary actions it is taking to dig myself up (most of the way) out of this funk and to help others that may be finding this time particularly challenging to manage. It has been a really long year.
For me, one of the largest struggles has been facing what the experts call “the loss of daily life.” The first and biggest change to my life by Covid was that my job went remote. My pre-covid daily life, which was not all that interesting to start with, consisted of getting up and getting dressed, going to work, interacting with coworkers, eating lunch at a table with utensils, running errands after work, and sometimes socializing with friends. Then it turned into getting up and going straight from my bed to my desk. I did not change clothes, I did not interact with coworkers, I would eat my food straight out of the container while I watched tv, I would send Stone to run all errands (as directed, we had to choose one person to go out in the infected world and I have underlying health conditions so we thought it was safer) and never socialize with friends. In other words, I never left the house.
I fell into a period of extreme grief and depression. The disappearance of my way of life became overwhelming. Being in isolation was extremely difficult when I would be experiencing manic or hypomanic episodes. In general, the fear of catching Covid and concerns about the health of loved ones only increased my agitation. My anxiety would be through the roof when my mom would go anywhere, even the doctor but it would drive me crazy when she would go with my sister to Wal-Mart. The potential of her catching Covid would send me into a downward spiral.
I know that the above paragraphs are in the past tense but by no means does this mean I am completely cured and never have days when I can’t get out of the bed. However, after months (and months) of wallowing in my despair, I am finally working on my coping strategies and seem to be having fewer days where the possibility of being vertical is just too much. (Today I cried because I wrote the shopping list on a piece of paper with important numbers on the back so I had to re-write it, but at least I made it vertical and had on clean pants).
First and foremost, I moved my therapy sessions virtual. Virtual sessions with my therapist have been such an amazing tool. I feel that all people suffering from mental health disorders should be in talk therapy. It is hard otherwise to do things like “learn to acknowledge that these ARE stressful times during which it is understandable to feel concerned about your loved ones health” - aka, my feelings are valid and based in reality, I just need to learn how to manage my feelings as they manifest.
Second, meditation. Meditation helps me to relax and reduce stress, which helps me manage my mood. Here is an article about how Meditation can help manage bipolar disorder: click here (https://www.healthline.com/health/bipolar-disorder/meditation)
Third, another fancy term - lifestyle interventions. What are lifestyle interventions you may ask… well, under normal circumstances, they are things like eating a healthy diet and getting appropriate amounts of sleep and exercise. But in the case of my new Covid life, they include things like putting on clean pants and brushing my hair daily, answering the phone when friends call and getting fresh air. Another thing that I had to do was minimize news and social media.
If you or someone you love has a mental health issue and is having a hard time dealing with this pandemic and the changes it brings, try to find coping strategies that can help proactively navigate the potential problems that come with this time. Medication, Therapy, Meditation, and lifestyle interventions can help improve the mental and physical health of people with not only bipolar disorder but other mental health issues including depression and anxiety disorders.
Suicide prevention:
If you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide, a prevention hotline can help.
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available 24 hours per day at 800-273-8255.
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